Postcards From Paradise

Husband and  I were lucky enough to spend the last glorious week in the Bahamas, on the aptly named Paradise Island. And I have to say, it lived up to its name. It was gorgeous. White sand beaches, the brightest, clearest, turquoise water that just so happened to be the perfect temperature. Amazing food (shocker that that made it at the top of the list, right?). Sunshine. Laughter. Romance. Fun. Sleep. Repeat.
As I explained HERE, this is pretty much a big fat deal to us. Travel is something we both have always wanted to do, but have not always had the time/money/gumption to just go ahead and do. Not very much at least, especially since having kids.  Husband lived in Europe for a year before we dated and has always remembered that time in his life with such fondness that it always gives me a small pang of regret to not have shared in those memories with him. So, Europe aside, we have been beyond thrilled to have earned two vacations (part of Husbands compensation at work) in two years now. As we boarded our plane I thought about how Im a pretty big fan of Edward Jones these days. In fact, if ol Teddy Jones wouldve been there, I might have been obliged to give him a big frencher for coming up with the brilliant idea of this all-expense-paid vacation business! Genius, if you ask me.

So I could go on and on about how wonderful and peaceful and lovely the whole week was and how grateful I am to have had time alone with Husband to just enjoy his company and recharge my batteries. But I thought it'd be a little more fun to sum it up in a little something I like to call  "Akward and Awesome, Bahamian Edition."

AKWARD: Husband and I lying in the shallow water looking for seashells for Bigger One, when a small but ferocious fish out of nowhere bites him directly on the nipple. Which was so funny it made it also a little bit awesome.

AWESOME:  Well, the whole bit.

Taking in the delightfully unfamiliar scenery.

Celebrating being married for 9 years to the man I love. (Awe. Look at him. Isnt he cute?)

Swimming with the dolphins.

Napping under palm trees.

Afternoons spent reading on the beach. (Outlander, no less. Husband by my side, waves in the background, and James Fraser on the page? Me likey.)  Followed by leisurely, candlit dinners that came in courses and lasted for two hours. Bliss.

Ahh Yeeeah

If my life were a movie, this would be the part where the music reaches a crescendo, accompanied by a joyous slow-mo reel. Naturally, there's a flash mob as well, along with confetti and a small marching band playing Journey's 'Dont Stop Believing'. (Dontcha just love Journey?!)

We got it! We got our trip! Cliffhanger, Shmiffhanger. In the end, justice was served up on a platter, and under the silver lid was two tickets to the Bahamas. Me likey. For a second I was bummed that we were not able to sign up in time for any of the Europe trips. They filled up first, naturally. But then I realized that not knowing which vacation to choose is a luxury problem and that it's totally bratty to be anything less than thrilled. Which I genuinely am. We get to go to Paradise Island, Bahamas! An all expense paid, child-free- anniversary trip to the Bahamas! How rad is THAT?  "Paradise Island" sounds like it will suit me quite nicely.
We just nailed it down today and Im still semi- beside myself. We just dont DO this kind of thing normally. Other than the last trip we earned last year, Husband and I hadnt been a proper vacation since our honeymoon 8 years ago.  And while it gives me a stomach ache to leave my kids for a whole week, it was absolutely blissful. It was one of those things where you dont know how badly you need to relax until you actually do fully relax. I THOUGHT I was relaxed on the first day. But then by the second day I quit tensing every time I heard a kid whining or needing something because I remembered that it wasnt MY kid. Then by the third day I started laughing and really enjoying myself. And somewhere around the 4th day Husband and I remembered that THIS was what it feels like to really connect and enjoy each other's company with no distractions.

Maybe this time it wont take me 3 whole days to decompress. Im still new to this vacation business, after all. August is still a few months away but that's okay. Its good to have something to look forward to. Now about dusting off my bikinis....Blurg. Not ready for that yet. Have you seen those commercials for the pajama jeans? (Im laughing really hard right now, please tell me you all have seen that commercial?) Maybe they make bikini jeans. LOL. Nah, bad plan. I have two words for how I would look in that contraption: STUFFED SAUSAGE. Maybe a few more months is a good thing...

A Little Something I Like to Call "Terrific Lady Day"

Stop the presses. Husband has chosen (of his own free will) to forego playing basketball with the guys today and go shopping with me. Lets pause here for a minute and appreciate the gravity of that statement. This is no small sacrifice for him, as he was just saying to me last week how he was craving some basketball time with the boys. AND considering that its shopping he's agreed to. As in, walking around a mall, looking at clothes, trying things on- for like, HOURS. This has not happened since the early days. The dating and early-marriage days when he would happily oblige my desires to mosey around a mall or department store. Then it slowly changed from happily obliging me to humoring me every so often by tagging along. And then it ultimately graduated to "woman, have you lost your mind?". (He doesnt actually refer to me as "woman", but you get my drift).
And its okay, really. Its not his cup of tea. He'd rather be fishing or hunting or playing golf or doing something active out in nature. And we all know being active isnt exactly MY cup of tea. So for 8 years we've done what all married couples do, and balanced (or tried to balance) the usual give and take that's required in a marriage. Sometimes trading off doing the things we actually enjoy for doing the things every now and again that really, if we're honest, would make us prefer to stick dull toothpicks in our eyes, but we do them regardless because it makes the other person happy. Not that we dont enjoy some of the same things- we do, but we dont do everything together. I mean, lets all be real here. Ya gotta know when to cut and run. Which for me, is usually when he goes fishing. I tried it a few times. My dad had a boat growing up and that suited me fine. I could sit and enjoy th scenery,  and they could fish. That I can enjoy. Its the standing-on-the-riverbank business I dont care for. I think the last time I tagged along was about 5 years ago when I was pregnant with our daughter. Husband took me to some rocky cliff over the river, perched me on about 1 square foot of rock space that he deemed "perfectly safe", where I teetered for the next hour in a chair that, lets all face it, was no match for my heaving pregnant self. It didnt collapse, but I doubt that flimsy little camping chair has ever worked so hard. And that's where I sat working up a sweat and slowly cooking like a dumpling in the sun for the next hour and a half. But it made him happy.

I dont know what made him decide to go with me today, but Im not going to ask any questions. Maybe all the stars and planets aligned, or maybe he's undergone some fundamental change and he actually likes shopping now...or maybe he's suffered some major blow to the head. All I know is that aside from annual holiday shopping,  this only happens about once every couple of years and so I intend to enjoy it thoroughly. A whole day of leisurely shopping with Husband, maybe lunch, or break it up a little with a movie- After all, I AM human, I DO have a soul, and dont intend on torchuring him all the live long day. He's even promised not to drop the usual ten glum paces behind me  (a strange phenomenon that happens upon walking into any store regardless of its nature) pouting the whole time! Its looking up ladies. Long live Terrific Lady Day!

I Think Ace Ventura Put it Best When He Said "Find a Happy Place!"

Its all fun and games until one of them starts flinging poo. Oh yes. Welcome to my day. Come join me. Bask with me in the mayhem. "Give in to the power of the tea" if you will. (bonus points for readers who can name that movie). (Actually, double bonus points. Because Name That Movie is my favorite game ever. Second only to "Remember When...")

I think I felt it coming before I even opened my eyes this morning. Trouble. As if the only word I could clearly see forming on the foggy horizon of my brain was already going to be "BLURG".  Do you ever wake up so early that you feel nauseous? Like your body is so tired its literally rejecting wakefulness? Happens to me all the time. I think this might be part of why I hate breakfast so much. Its the only time of day you will catch me wishing for sleep over food.

I think I had a bad dream too. I've been reading a lot lately and both the books Im reading melded into one bizarre dream involving a heap of dead wolves with yellow eyes, (shudder), a rugged Scotsman (yes please),  and a troubling impression that I was grinding my teeth into gravel inside my own head (I actually do grind my teeth so this wasnt too far off). Suffice it to say, that I had a furrow in my brow before I even made it off of my pillow this morning. Both of my little darlings seemed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed as well, because before breakfast was over, there were two altercations between siblings,  one spill, followed by tears, followed by whining, followed by me snapping at my daughter over her highly dramatic display. Dangit. Not even 8:00 yet and I've already lost my cool. Deep breath. Apologize for being snappy, while trying to simultaneously squeeze in a lesson about attitudes of the heart. Only semi succesful in getting point across. She was pretty busy with her Cinnamon Toast Crunch and he just grins blankly at me every time I talk anyways, regardless of what Im saying. (which I secretly love).

And so it went for the next few hours. Rushing to get us all showered, dressed, fed, teeth brushed, hair combed, and out the door.(With no lack of battles over each one of those things)  Drop off at school, run errands, pick up from school, try to keep 1 year old happy and quiet as I try to be productive... Fail. Decide its a good idea to bundle up and head outside in the backyard for some good old fashioned fun. Enjoy approximately 4.5 minutes of delight, playing with my children, blowing and popping bubbles until Littler One spills Bigger One's bubbles. While I console Bigger One over the loss of her new bubbles and remind her to be gracious and forgiving with Littler One, and grab a towel to start mopping up  the sticky mess, I turn around just in time to see it. Littler One. Holding a poop. My dog's poop. Oh dear God.

After I shrieked, scolded Buster the dog (not that it was his fault. Hey, everybody poops), disinfected, scoured, and scrubbed up my son, called it quits with the bubbles, tried to make dinner amid seventeen interruptions regarding snacks, barbie shoes, a half eaten chapstick, and a completely emptied trash can on my kitchen floor, - after  that I decided to give it up.  It was one of those days where everything was harder than I thought it should have been. You know those days you have, as a parent, where you honestly get tired of hearing your own voice? I decided to abandon my efforts (however valiant they may be!) to force my day into something it wasnt going to be. So  I opened a diet Dr. Pepper, allowed myself one hearty eye-roll before I shooshed the "What the what?!" train of thought I felt forming in the back of my head, had a good chuckle, and  acquiesced to the funk. Sometimes ya gotta just let it be. So I took my remaining shreds of peace of mind and my diet Dr. Pepper into my daughters playhouse and let her pretend to be my mommy while Jaxon banged toy pots over my head for 20 minutes. And I daresay that 20 minutes was the highlight of the day for all three of us.

Afternoon Delight!

  Im only referring to my cup of coffee, actually. But it is delightful. When did I become this person? This person who went from not even liking coffee at all, even when I was a barista- to liking it, to loving it, to needing it, to having it twice a day? In the morning I always choose coffee over food- always. Well, actually, I hate most breakfast foods anyways. Which is odd, for a person who loves food as much as I do (and I do).

 Breakfast is the one meal that I really could just do without. Im not a sweets person and most breakfast foods are sweet. Yogurt. Blech. It tastes good going down, but then you're left with that filmy, milky, residue-y aftermath in your mouth. No thank you. And cereal. Dont even get me started on cereal. There are two main problems there: 1) Its cold. Im too tired to shovel something cold into my mouth early in the morning -if that makes any sense. A nice, hot, strong cup of coffee is much more my speed. And 2) its accompanied by milk. Which I dont love. There are precisely two instances in which I can gag down milk and they are when I drink it with oreos and when I drink it while eating peanut butter. But cereal is one of those foods that baffle me. People seem to just love it. Its the same with tea. People LOVE their tea. I dont care much for it. Its like dirty water. Non-juice. Its just different than I wish it was. But Im tempted to force myself into liking it, only because of the level of enjoyment people seem to get out of it. They hunch up their shoulders, wrap their hands around a warm mug of tea, and inhale it before sipping away like its a little slice of heaven. I seriously think Im missing the boat on this one.

I have one more bone to pick with breakfast foods and then I will be quiet. Why is it, that you can never go to a restaraunt, and order french toast along with all the other accoutrements, as one meal? Its always the french toast, all by itself, as its own meal. You can order pancakes with sausage, eggs, potatoes... Why are pancakes so special? They are essentially sweet, soggy, bread- and if there is one thing in the whole world that gets my gag reflex, it is soggy bread. (insert dry heave).
Well, I suppose there has to be a few things that I DONT like. Because lord knows I can scarcely pass up a bowl of pasta! Or any carb for that matter.

Maybe Im just a coffee-loving elitist. Maybe tea is simply an acquired taste and I just havent acquired it yet. I'll tackle that one after I tackle wine. Maybe soon I'll be a wine drinking, tea- loving grown up.

Vay. Cay. Shun.

August 7, 2011

In a few days, I am going to be plucked out of my everyday responsibilities, and going on a real and proper vacation with my husband. SANS children. This is a big deal. We don't really do this....ever. Im 50% excited 50% anxious about leaving my babies for a whole week. Ok, 60% excited 40% anxious. Ok fine, 70%/30%. Dont judge!
While there are not many things I can think of in my life that fulfill me  more than raising my two lovies, I can openly admit, I need to recharge. Nothing can fill you up and completely empty you at the same time quite like parenting, yes?
So for 7 glorious days, Im giong to lie on the beach. Im going to sleep through the night and wake up only because my body 'just feels like it'. I will read an entire book! Im going to eat and drink to my hearts content. I will not hear my name 500 times a day. I will not wipe any noses or bums other than my own. And while I will worry far too much and miss my kids til my stomach aches, Im going to hang up my 'mommy' hat and savor the chance to worry about nothing other than being Nathan's wife. Im going to celebrate being married for 9 years to the man I love. Im going to have the time to look him in the eye during a conversation. For one little snippet of time, we get to be that totally fun, carefree couple we used to be. And maybe we still are?
I guess its good to have something to look forward to. But its also good to realize that even when you dont, your life is still blessed.