No. Expectations are the devil! ...Well, ok, I retract that statement. Its a blanket statement, and those are almost never a good idea. Overly high or unfair expectations are the devil.
In retrospect, it all starts with me. Overthinking things. As usual. dont you just hate 'retrospect'? The way it lays things out so clearly, almost taunting you with its obviousness? Its a double edged sword, retrospect. The way it can (much to your own chagrin) cut so clearly to the heart of a matter when you choose to look honestly into it. The way it can make you feel so utterly silly sometimes. But at the same token, it serves an invaluable purpose. You live, you learn, as they say.
It is at best unwise, and at worst dangerous ground, when you let expectations dictate your actions. In marriage, in work, in freindships, in nearly anything. "I'll do this for you, if (or because) you do that for me." "I'll work hard at this, only because it might get me that." "I expect you to be A, B, and C to me, and if you aren't, you are letting me down. You are the bad guy". Dangerous lines of thinking!
Obviously, expectations on some level are healthy and necessary elements of any relationship. Obviously. Im not saying 'lower your expectations, roll over and take whatever you can get and live with it". That's just sad.
I guess the thing Im pondering, is, well, selfishness. Inwardly, Im wincing. Im not loving what Im seeing. I confess (appearantly I have much to confess these days?), that I often let selfishness lay the groundwork for expectations, which in turn lays the groundwork for disappointment, resentment, or hurt.
Take date night, for example. Oh dear, I cannot believe I am going to expose myself like this, but whatever, here goes. My husband always tells me that I hold date nights with such a high regard, such a lofty expectation, that I darn near expect it to be some magical, mystical experience. Im chuckling as I write this, because he is totally right. I do. Its a recipe for disaster! How often, I wonder, has he walked unawares into a booby trap that I have unwittingly set?
At the movie: for 8 years, without fail, as the popcorn and hot dogs stop singing and dancing and the lights dim, I"ll lean over and say "make it a date" and he kisses me, thus commencing the "date". One, maybe two times he forgets or I forget and my stomach lurches as I realize with horror, 'what we've become'. LOL. So dramatic, right? We sit at dinner and eat our food and chit chat and instead of relaxing into what could be a lovely, comfortable silence, I let the inner monologue begin. "Oh my gosh. So eight years huh? Eight years is how long it takes? To be that couple that just sits across from each other at the restaraunt with nothing to say? With just dead air between us?!" Its silly, but oh, its real. I am expecting him to wow me with sparkling conversation, to make me feel twitterpated, to essentially do and say all the right things. How exhausting. How foolish. If I would only relax and forget about all my expectations of him and of the night. If I would silence my inner monologue and enjoy him, enjoly US for what we are- 2 people who know each other, who love each other, who fit together. If I would see it as it truly is, I'd save us both a lot of grief!
I never used to even think twice about these silly things. Its been a phase. And Im closing the book on it. Maybe its the change that comes with having kids. Maybe its all the million outside stresses of work and money and responsibility that creep in to our happy, intimate little bubble. Maybe that's why, when the rare date night, or the even more rare vacation together happens, I put so much pressure on these events to be something fantastical. (yes, Im sticking with the word fantastical).
Maybe its just growing pains. Ah, but growth is a good thing! So there you have it. The real truth, the crux of the matter, is that what we share is GOOD. Its familiar and comforting and easy. Its even still romantic and twitterpating. Maybe not on a daily basis or all the time, but its there when it needs to be there. Its right. Its enjoyable. Its a gift, even.
In my vows I promised "To always trust, To always forgive, To always cherish him as my most precious gift, and To always walk beside him- no matter what this life brings." So I will do just that. I will trust in what we share and in how far its come. I will appreciate the changes that have refined it. I will forgive when hurts or disappointments happen. I will be thankful for the gift of marriage. I will relax and enjoy it for what it is!
And as for unfair expectations, I must recognize them and shake them off. And focus more on being unselfish rather than selfish. Easy, right? LOL. I'll let ya know how the next date night goes. :)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Afternoon Delight!
Im only referring to my cup of coffee, actually. But it is delightful. When did I become this person? This person who went from not even liking coffee at all, even when I was a barista- to liking it, to loving it, to needing it, to having it twice a day? In the morning I always choose coffee over food- always. Well, actually, I hate most breakfast foods anyways. Which is odd, for a person who loves food as much as I do (and I do).
Breakfast is the one meal that I really could just do without. Im not a sweets person and most breakfast foods are sweet. Yogurt. Blech. It tastes good going down, but then you're left with that filmy, milky, residue-y aftermath in your mouth. No thank you. And cereal. Dont even get me started on cereal. There are two main problems there: 1) Its cold. Im too tired to shovel something cold into my mouth early in the morning -if that makes any sense. A nice, hot, strong cup of coffee is much more my speed. And 2) its accompanied by milk. Which I dont love. There are precisely two instances in which I can gag down milk and they are when I drink it with oreos and when I drink it while eating peanut butter. But cereal is one of those foods that baffle me. People seem to just love it. Its the same with tea. People LOVE their tea. I dont care much for it. Its like dirty water. Non-juice. Its just different than I wish it was. But Im tempted to force myself into liking it, only because of the level of enjoyment people seem to get out of it. They hunch up their shoulders, wrap their hands around a warm mug of tea, and inhale it before sipping away like its a little slice of heaven. I seriously think Im missing the boat on this one.
I have one more bone to pick with breakfast foods and then I will be quiet. Why is it, that you can never go to a restaraunt, and order french toast along with all the other accoutrements, as one meal? Its always the french toast, all by itself, as its own meal. You can order pancakes with sausage, eggs, potatoes... Why are pancakes so special? They are essentially sweet, soggy, bread- and if there is one thing in the whole world that gets my gag reflex, it is soggy bread. (insert dry heave).
Well, I suppose there has to be a few things that I DONT like. Because lord knows I can scarcely pass up a bowl of pasta! Or any carb for that matter.
Maybe Im just a coffee-loving elitist. Maybe tea is simply an acquired taste and I just havent acquired it yet. I'll tackle that one after I tackle wine. Maybe soon I'll be a wine drinking, tea- loving grown up.
Breakfast is the one meal that I really could just do without. Im not a sweets person and most breakfast foods are sweet. Yogurt. Blech. It tastes good going down, but then you're left with that filmy, milky, residue-y aftermath in your mouth. No thank you. And cereal. Dont even get me started on cereal. There are two main problems there: 1) Its cold. Im too tired to shovel something cold into my mouth early in the morning -if that makes any sense. A nice, hot, strong cup of coffee is much more my speed. And 2) its accompanied by milk. Which I dont love. There are precisely two instances in which I can gag down milk and they are when I drink it with oreos and when I drink it while eating peanut butter. But cereal is one of those foods that baffle me. People seem to just love it. Its the same with tea. People LOVE their tea. I dont care much for it. Its like dirty water. Non-juice. Its just different than I wish it was. But Im tempted to force myself into liking it, only because of the level of enjoyment people seem to get out of it. They hunch up their shoulders, wrap their hands around a warm mug of tea, and inhale it before sipping away like its a little slice of heaven. I seriously think Im missing the boat on this one.
I have one more bone to pick with breakfast foods and then I will be quiet. Why is it, that you can never go to a restaraunt, and order french toast along with all the other accoutrements, as one meal? Its always the french toast, all by itself, as its own meal. You can order pancakes with sausage, eggs, potatoes... Why are pancakes so special? They are essentially sweet, soggy, bread- and if there is one thing in the whole world that gets my gag reflex, it is soggy bread. (insert dry heave).
Well, I suppose there has to be a few things that I DONT like. Because lord knows I can scarcely pass up a bowl of pasta! Or any carb for that matter.
Maybe Im just a coffee-loving elitist. Maybe tea is simply an acquired taste and I just havent acquired it yet. I'll tackle that one after I tackle wine. Maybe soon I'll be a wine drinking, tea- loving grown up.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Confessions: Second Edition
So here's the real truth of the matter, however unsettling it may be. I think Im getting lazy. When I used to work, I was so good at compartmentalizing my time. Work time, check. Family time, check. Cleaning/ grocery shopping time, check. Free time, check. I was so much better at focusing wholly on each particular thing and then moving on to the next. I know life isnt always so "compartmentalized" and tidy like that, especially when juggling multiple roles in one day. We are a generation of multi-taskers. And we wear this badge as if its an honor. Maybe it is, to a degree. I can brush my teeth, put my daughter's hair in pigtails, talk on the phone, and keep my 12 month old out of the toilet (almost a full time job in itself) all the same time. Great. Grand. Getting things done.
Except...I think somewhere in the middle of all that, I tend to get swallowed up in the minutiae of my day. All those small tasks that maybe dont feel so groundbreakingly important, but on some level, they really are. I cherish the time Im able to spend at home with my two kids. But...do I really? I know in my heart of hearts, that answer is a resounding yes. But Im thinking that a little bit of the importance of my 'job' ( Ewe. I dont like the way that sounds. Lets say mission) has been lost on me lately. The tricky part, is that often some of the most mundane parental tasks- the ones we really dont love doing, if we're honest, can wind up being unexpectedly the sweetest moments. Goodnight prayers and kisses, early morning pre-coffee breakfast making, diaper changes that turn into tickle fights. But if Im always rushing through these things to get them done, instead of being actively present during them, I miss SO much. Its one thing to keep my children alive, fed, bathed, clothed, loved, safe, etc. That's the easy part. Its making the deposits in their hearts that requires so much more of me. And the scary part? Its easy not to do. Ooh. Just got REAL! (chuckle) It is though. Its easy to coast some days. To do the basic minimum requirement.
So I am personally (publicly) challenging myself. To rise to the occasion. To do my real and true best. And dont worry, its not some noble, grandiose proclamation to strike the perfect balance. Life is life. Whatever. Just putting myself in check.
In fact, this very moment, Jaxon is literally biting my ankles. Literally. And Bella is running circles through the kitchen and dining room like a wild banshee. So this is me, closing my computer, turning off the tv, and being present. Otherwise, good Lord, the house might burn down.
Except...I think somewhere in the middle of all that, I tend to get swallowed up in the minutiae of my day. All those small tasks that maybe dont feel so groundbreakingly important, but on some level, they really are. I cherish the time Im able to spend at home with my two kids. But...do I really? I know in my heart of hearts, that answer is a resounding yes. But Im thinking that a little bit of the importance of my 'job' ( Ewe. I dont like the way that sounds. Lets say mission) has been lost on me lately. The tricky part, is that often some of the most mundane parental tasks- the ones we really dont love doing, if we're honest, can wind up being unexpectedly the sweetest moments. Goodnight prayers and kisses, early morning pre-coffee breakfast making, diaper changes that turn into tickle fights. But if Im always rushing through these things to get them done, instead of being actively present during them, I miss SO much. Its one thing to keep my children alive, fed, bathed, clothed, loved, safe, etc. That's the easy part. Its making the deposits in their hearts that requires so much more of me. And the scary part? Its easy not to do. Ooh. Just got REAL! (chuckle) It is though. Its easy to coast some days. To do the basic minimum requirement.
So I am personally (publicly) challenging myself. To rise to the occasion. To do my real and true best. And dont worry, its not some noble, grandiose proclamation to strike the perfect balance. Life is life. Whatever. Just putting myself in check.
In fact, this very moment, Jaxon is literally biting my ankles. Literally. And Bella is running circles through the kitchen and dining room like a wild banshee. So this is me, closing my computer, turning off the tv, and being present. Otherwise, good Lord, the house might burn down.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
So What, if it is!
In the vein of my last post, and embracing who I really am, I have decided to listen to many of my freinds prodding, and go ahead and start a blog. Disclaimer: I do not read, follow, or even pretend to know anything about blogs. Im an amateur. Im also doing this in spite of my husbands endless ribbing and teasing me about it. He says its nerdy. I dont agree (obviously) But ya know what? So what if it is!
I could have relative things to say! Relative to what...well, it just depends. This blog will not be about any one thing in particular. It will not just be about motherhood. Because, while that takes up an insurmountable chunk of my time, my heart, and my mind, its not the ONLY thing about me. It will not just be tidbits I learn here or there. Or even just funny tidbits in general. It will not be about travel, because while I would love to travel with all my heart, I have not had much opportunity to do so quite yet. It will not be about marriage. It will not be a list of gripes. It will HOPEFULLY not be boring. It will just be...well...ME. Thus the title. In my mind, its an ironic, satirical, (always laced with humor) look at my life as a stay at home mom . To someone who doesnt know me, it may sound like the "this" in my title makes me sound like some jaded, despondent, desperate houswife with nothing but time and a keyboard. Which genuinely could not be further from the truth. Could not. Just so we clear that up.
So here I go, putting myself out there, for all to see. Please be nice to me. ;)
I could have relative things to say! Relative to what...well, it just depends. This blog will not be about any one thing in particular. It will not just be about motherhood. Because, while that takes up an insurmountable chunk of my time, my heart, and my mind, its not the ONLY thing about me. It will not just be tidbits I learn here or there. Or even just funny tidbits in general. It will not be about travel, because while I would love to travel with all my heart, I have not had much opportunity to do so quite yet. It will not be about marriage. It will not be a list of gripes. It will HOPEFULLY not be boring. It will just be...well...ME. Thus the title. In my mind, its an ironic, satirical, (always laced with humor) look at my life as a stay at home mom . To someone who doesnt know me, it may sound like the "this" in my title makes me sound like some jaded, despondent, desperate houswife with nothing but time and a keyboard. Which genuinely could not be further from the truth. Could not. Just so we clear that up.
So here I go, putting myself out there, for all to see. Please be nice to me. ;)
Dont Fight the Funk
October 25, 2010
So Im getting dangerously close to 30. And while I don't bemoan parting with my 20's- I do confess to feeling a little defiant about the fact. In your 20's you're 'young'. You're vivacious and lively and carefree and maybe even a little bit foolish. But it's allowed.
So here I sit, on the brink of my very last year my twenties. My lovely twenties. I've decided (determined) that my 30's will be good. In your 30's you earn that self-possessed, self- assured, comfortable-in-your-own-skin air about you. And on that note, I've decided, its time to put on my big girl panties (the proverbial kind, not actual, grandma panties. After all, 30's is hardly the same as 70's) and face facts about myself. There are just certain things, that no matter how you look at it, I will most certainly never be 'great' at. And so I am going to accept each one and move on. So here's a shorthand list of what I've got so far.
1) I will never be great at doing my own hair or makeup. Its not that I dont care, exactly. Its more like Im a minimalist, but not by choice. I just lack the skills, and the genetic make-up to look fantastically put together without trying. You know the type. Every time I see one of these women, I really do want to pull them aside for a little pow-wow and ask them how they managed this. "Really! I genuinely want to know! Is there a secret? Some trick I did not learn yet? I'll keep it in the vault, I swear! Just tell me!".
Ah, I guess I will stick with my blown out hair and and mascara and blush and blend in with the rest of the world. At least I know my place.
2) I will never be great at keeping that joke, comment, random thought to myself. I blurt. Im a blurter. Im also very animated and I tend to be...(cringing as I even type this)...excitable. Which tends to make me louder. Sigh. Its true. But its who I am! So there. At least Im copping to it and owning it (I think). Im not, nor will I ever be, one of those peripheral people who quietly takes it all in, and doesn't let it all out. Which brings me to my number 3). I will never be great at hiding my feelings. Im such a bad liar. Generally whatever Im thinking, feeling, wondering is written ALL over my face. Not very handy. One of these days I'll learn to be more guarded. But for now, I'll go ahead being an open book. Its not such a bad thing.
4) I will never be great at relaxing in an unkempt house. There is no wiggle room on this one, either. I've tried. I'll feel irritable or slightly chaotic and I won't exactly know why. But voila! As soon as my house is clean and the smell of pinesol and comet wafts through the air, its like the sun suddenly shines out of my butt. It makes me happy. Not giddy happy, but the nice, pleasant, peaceful brand of happy.
5) I will never be great at making snap decisions. I hem and haw. I ask for input. I vascillate. But this one I I'd rather change than make peace with.
There are a lot of things that I AM. But that is a blog for another day. And there are a lot more things that I will never be great at. But these are the only ones I've made peace with just yet. So its, as I always say, "Dont fight the funk, eh?!" (I really do always say that). Cheers to one more year to soak it all up and figure it all out.
So Im getting dangerously close to 30. And while I don't bemoan parting with my 20's- I do confess to feeling a little defiant about the fact. In your 20's you're 'young'. You're vivacious and lively and carefree and maybe even a little bit foolish. But it's allowed.
So here I sit, on the brink of my very last year my twenties. My lovely twenties. I've decided (determined) that my 30's will be good. In your 30's you earn that self-possessed, self- assured, comfortable-in-your-own-skin air about you. And on that note, I've decided, its time to put on my big girl panties (the proverbial kind, not actual, grandma panties. After all, 30's is hardly the same as 70's) and face facts about myself. There are just certain things, that no matter how you look at it, I will most certainly never be 'great' at. And so I am going to accept each one and move on. So here's a shorthand list of what I've got so far.
1) I will never be great at doing my own hair or makeup. Its not that I dont care, exactly. Its more like Im a minimalist, but not by choice. I just lack the skills, and the genetic make-up to look fantastically put together without trying. You know the type. Every time I see one of these women, I really do want to pull them aside for a little pow-wow and ask them how they managed this. "Really! I genuinely want to know! Is there a secret? Some trick I did not learn yet? I'll keep it in the vault, I swear! Just tell me!".
Ah, I guess I will stick with my blown out hair and and mascara and blush and blend in with the rest of the world. At least I know my place.
2) I will never be great at keeping that joke, comment, random thought to myself. I blurt. Im a blurter. Im also very animated and I tend to be...(cringing as I even type this)...excitable. Which tends to make me louder. Sigh. Its true. But its who I am! So there. At least Im copping to it and owning it (I think). Im not, nor will I ever be, one of those peripheral people who quietly takes it all in, and doesn't let it all out. Which brings me to my number 3). I will never be great at hiding my feelings. Im such a bad liar. Generally whatever Im thinking, feeling, wondering is written ALL over my face. Not very handy. One of these days I'll learn to be more guarded. But for now, I'll go ahead being an open book. Its not such a bad thing.
4) I will never be great at relaxing in an unkempt house. There is no wiggle room on this one, either. I've tried. I'll feel irritable or slightly chaotic and I won't exactly know why. But voila! As soon as my house is clean and the smell of pinesol and comet wafts through the air, its like the sun suddenly shines out of my butt. It makes me happy. Not giddy happy, but the nice, pleasant, peaceful brand of happy.
5) I will never be great at making snap decisions. I hem and haw. I ask for input. I vascillate. But this one I I'd rather change than make peace with.
There are a lot of things that I AM. But that is a blog for another day. And there are a lot more things that I will never be great at. But these are the only ones I've made peace with just yet. So its, as I always say, "Dont fight the funk, eh?!" (I really do always say that). Cheers to one more year to soak it all up and figure it all out.
Confessions of an Honest Mom
October 9, 2010
Ok. Moms out there: have we all been in that situation where you're having pleasant, small-talk-y conversation with another mom-acquaintance (which generally means talk about your kids. Story swapping, anticdote sharing, general inadvertant gushing)...and said mom keeps slipping in comments about how she "really just can't believe what a wonderful personality little Billy has". Or, "how truly, truly lucky she feels, and SO honored" to be little Suzy's mother. And you feel yourself smile and graciously agree, saying something along the lines of "Yes, they really are so charming, and yes you really should feel lucky". - When inwardly you stifle a hearty eye-roll. I mean, seriously? Let's all be real here. Dont ALL moms EVERYWHERE feel this way? Don't we all, deep in our hearts, feel that our kids are somehow spectacular?
Now,...(pause)...I get it. Im treading lightly here. I am not some cold, cynical, eye-rolling monster who doesn't wanna hear about your cute kid. On the contrary, I think its important to share the positive sentiments as much or probably more than sharing the negative ones. After all, its a mixed bag, is it not? I do, however, have a low tolerance for that subtle, passive-aggressive-my-life-is-ever-so-slightly-better-than-yours-THING that women can be so good at. There. I said it.
Does anyone know what Im talking about? That shift, however subterranean it might be, that feels like these pleasantries have suddenly taken on an ugly, slightly competitive edge? ...WHY?! What's the point?
I consider myself lucky to have a close circle of family and freinds, -moms themselves- who I can say this is not ever the case with. We all know and love each other and our subsequent children, and we can just go ahead and be real with each other. How refreshing! To be able to just come right out and admit that we, (or one of our little darlings) are having an 'off'day. A bad day. A naughty day, even. (Gasp) It happens. Its true. No judgements. No clicking tongues or raised eyebrows. Because, as parents, aren't we ALL climbing that same, daily, uphill battle?
Now, at the risk of sounding like a negative nellie- I will ammend that I do not mean to sound, nor do I feel, that parenting is a drag. Not at all. As I've said before, there is nothing else I'd rather be doing. Nothing that can empty you, yet gloriously fill you up at the same time, quite like parenting. So let's all be chums, eh? Comrades. Let's all be real here.
Ok. Moms out there: have we all been in that situation where you're having pleasant, small-talk-y conversation with another mom-acquaintance (which generally means talk about your kids. Story swapping, anticdote sharing, general inadvertant gushing)...and said mom keeps slipping in comments about how she "really just can't believe what a wonderful personality little Billy has". Or, "how truly, truly lucky she feels, and SO honored" to be little Suzy's mother. And you feel yourself smile and graciously agree, saying something along the lines of "Yes, they really are so charming, and yes you really should feel lucky". - When inwardly you stifle a hearty eye-roll. I mean, seriously? Let's all be real here. Dont ALL moms EVERYWHERE feel this way? Don't we all, deep in our hearts, feel that our kids are somehow spectacular?
Now,...(pause)...I get it. Im treading lightly here. I am not some cold, cynical, eye-rolling monster who doesn't wanna hear about your cute kid. On the contrary, I think its important to share the positive sentiments as much or probably more than sharing the negative ones. After all, its a mixed bag, is it not? I do, however, have a low tolerance for that subtle, passive-aggressive-my-life-is-ever-so-slightly-better-than-yours-THING that women can be so good at. There. I said it.
Does anyone know what Im talking about? That shift, however subterranean it might be, that feels like these pleasantries have suddenly taken on an ugly, slightly competitive edge? ...WHY?! What's the point?
I consider myself lucky to have a close circle of family and freinds, -moms themselves- who I can say this is not ever the case with. We all know and love each other and our subsequent children, and we can just go ahead and be real with each other. How refreshing! To be able to just come right out and admit that we, (or one of our little darlings) are having an 'off'day. A bad day. A naughty day, even. (Gasp) It happens. Its true. No judgements. No clicking tongues or raised eyebrows. Because, as parents, aren't we ALL climbing that same, daily, uphill battle?
Now, at the risk of sounding like a negative nellie- I will ammend that I do not mean to sound, nor do I feel, that parenting is a drag. Not at all. As I've said before, there is nothing else I'd rather be doing. Nothing that can empty you, yet gloriously fill you up at the same time, quite like parenting. So let's all be chums, eh? Comrades. Let's all be real here.
Vay. Cay. Shun.
August 7, 2011
In a few days, I am going to be plucked out of my everyday responsibilities, and going on a real and proper vacation with my husband. SANS children. This is a big deal. We don't really do this....ever. Im 50% excited 50% anxious about leaving my babies for a whole week. Ok, 60% excited 40% anxious. Ok fine, 70%/30%. Dont judge!
While there are not many things I can think of in my life that fulfill me more than raising my two lovies, I can openly admit, I need to recharge. Nothing can fill you up and completely empty you at the same time quite like parenting, yes?
So for 7 glorious days, Im giong to lie on the beach. Im going to sleep through the night and wake up only because my body 'just feels like it'. I will read an entire book! Im going to eat and drink to my hearts content. I will not hear my name 500 times a day. I will not wipe any noses or bums other than my own. And while I will worry far too much and miss my kids til my stomach aches, Im going to hang up my 'mommy' hat and savor the chance to worry about nothing other than being Nathan's wife. Im going to celebrate being married for 9 years to the man I love. Im going to have the time to look him in the eye during a conversation. For one little snippet of time, we get to be that totally fun, carefree couple we used to be. And maybe we still are?
I guess its good to have something to look forward to. But its also good to realize that even when you dont, your life is still blessed.
In a few days, I am going to be plucked out of my everyday responsibilities, and going on a real and proper vacation with my husband. SANS children. This is a big deal. We don't really do this....ever. Im 50% excited 50% anxious about leaving my babies for a whole week. Ok, 60% excited 40% anxious. Ok fine, 70%/30%. Dont judge!
While there are not many things I can think of in my life that fulfill me more than raising my two lovies, I can openly admit, I need to recharge. Nothing can fill you up and completely empty you at the same time quite like parenting, yes?
So for 7 glorious days, Im giong to lie on the beach. Im going to sleep through the night and wake up only because my body 'just feels like it'. I will read an entire book! Im going to eat and drink to my hearts content. I will not hear my name 500 times a day. I will not wipe any noses or bums other than my own. And while I will worry far too much and miss my kids til my stomach aches, Im going to hang up my 'mommy' hat and savor the chance to worry about nothing other than being Nathan's wife. Im going to celebrate being married for 9 years to the man I love. Im going to have the time to look him in the eye during a conversation. For one little snippet of time, we get to be that totally fun, carefree couple we used to be. And maybe we still are?
I guess its good to have something to look forward to. But its also good to realize that even when you dont, your life is still blessed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)